There IS a Car!


After I'd "partied" my way through hundreds of blogs during April's 2010 Ultimate Blog Party, fellow blogger Glenda honored me with a Sunshine Award. I was instructed to similarly nominate 10 of my own favorite blogs in order to "share the love."

One shoe-in was Confessions of a Redeemed Diva, a site I'd found during my blog-hopping week. I love Diva's self-deprecating, authentic descriptions and analyses of life as a Christ-follower; plus, she's not afraid to wear pigtails, and she made me laugh out loud...for real.

Well, Diva sent me a message this morning because she'd accepted my award...and had written a limerick for me in response:

Tina is real stellar
Tina is a star
Stop by her blog
and you can win a car

What Diva didn't know is that there is, indeed, a car...and, yes, you can have it just for visiting me here!

That's right! I'm offering this lovely "early model" (ahem - 1995) Saturn SL1 as my very first blog giveaway!

As you can see, "Rumble Beast" still has a beautiful complexion despite her age (which I believe is about 173 in "car years") ...'cause that's what happens when one's body is made from the finest-quality, highest-grade plastic available. True, there is the matter of the hubcap-less front tire, but it is the spare, after all (since the original blew out and we've decided not to drop another penny on the old girl). And you might be able to detect the slightly flat rear tire (unable to be replaced, of course, unless we shell out for said front tire first!). But I promise that (I think) both tires on the driver's side are...not flat.

Admittedly, Beast's insides are not as healthy as her exterior. She leaks oil so badly that we really ought to look into car engine-sized Depends...and her sunroof doesn't completely close anymore so it's starting to behave like a built-in upholstery wash when it rains. In fact, the seals around some of the doors leave something to be desired, too...but the rust is only a little visible so far. We did replace most of the exhaust system less than a year ago so the muffler and pipes are still bright and shiny; unfortunately, the older pipes right under the engine broke just weeks after we'd gotten the new parts. So now Beast has an alternate name: The Harley-Saturnson. But, honestly, it's only really loud - and only really belches the blackest smoke - when we gun the engine...so most of the time it doesn't violate the city's noise ordinance.

Of course, there's also the fact that GM completely ceased production of the entire Saturn line earlier this year, bringing into question the future availability of compatible replacement parts. But I think you could probably make any GM part fit if you want it badly enough and have a big enough hammer.

And, frankly, for a free car I'm sure you won't feel you have the right to be picky!

So here's the deal: If you want the car, leave a comment below. I'll keep the contest open for - uh - 27 hours, 52 minutes and 16 seconds...after which time I'll use fancy scrapbook-style script to write all your names on orgami paper, creatively fold them (be sure to tell me what you'd like your name to become!), and toss them all into my husband's authentic tricorn hat (purchased in Williamsburg on our honeymoon years ago and - honestly! - for all I know really worn by George Washington at his last dentist appointment).

Then I'll have my dog-cat Sweater draw the winner. It'll make his day. Really.

I'll notify the lucky duck post-haste, of course. And at that point all you'll need to do is indicate whether you'd like the car shipped whole or in parts and how you'll remit the shipping and handling costs. That's right; just like the most reputable late-night infomercials, all you'll need to pay for this gem of an auto is shipping and handling to your location. I'll take PayPal or a money order or check and will pack up the crate(s) the very same day I receive your payment.

So don't delay! The clock will start ticking the moment I publish this post, and I know you won't want to miss out on this wonderful opportunity. After all, we all know from growing up on Bob Barker and the The Price is Right that a car is the ultimate prize! And this one in particular is...well, something else.


redeemed diva said...

HAHAHAHAH! Tina you are too much!
Thanks for getting into the spirit of things.
I will most graciously decline this prize as I feel I am a bit too close to the contest seeing as how I started it and all.
Secondly, I hate paying duty at the border for American stuff. and with bringing it up to code for Canadian standards I fear your infomercial fees would sky rocket!
Great post and so well written.

Alexis said...

Great post Tina!! Hilarious. . .I will have to decline admission into this giveaway unfortunately. While I normally love entering giveaways, I'm sure you can understand my reluctance. :)

Allison said...

Oh hilarious! You made me laugh out loud and that is hard to do these days!! Thanks

JoAnn said...

This is hilarious!
Here's the thing, I'll take your car IF you take my house payment for the next year.

Natalie said...

I love it!! haha! That is too stinkin' funny! :)I love how you just rolled with it! I am also now following your blog! Thanks for making me laugh!

Natalie said...

oh and I don't want to be entered...um...in case that needed to be said. :)

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