10.23.2011

31 Days of Being Real: Day 23 - Almost Unbearable

This morning as I drove to church to help lead worship, my car was enveloped by a thick fog. Apropos, I thought, considering the fog of confusion that had enveloped everyone in my church this past week in regards to a serious internal issue.

By late morning, the haze had lifted in most places but patches remained, mirroring how I feel now, after a congregational meeting this afternoon: much of my confusion about what happened has faded, but uncomfortable patches of uncertainty - mainly in terms of what the future holds - persist.

I also continue to be enveloped by deep sadness for those involved. I believe I have a clear view of at least some of the roots of the tangled mess, but that knowledge brings me no joy; it just makes me weep for my friends and rage against satan because he is the ultimate author of that which wrought this debacle.

I know full well from my own life that Jeremiah 29.11 is true - so I don't doubt that at some point we will all see eventual good somehow come from this for everyone. And it comforts me to know that even my friends whose very hearts are breaking right now hold fast to that truth as well. But being real also requires me to acknowledge the truth that this whole thing is almost unbearable.

Not entirely and not ultimately...because God is on His throne and He is sovereign. But almost.

~~~~~

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1 comment:

From The Heart Online said...

I sure understand the aching and wrestling that comes with internal church issues. Last year was one of fog for ours church family.

'but almost'... I sure here that.

Thanks for sharing and being real :)

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